Yeah, that was what I meant to say. It still wasn't Public (Private).

Our Houses were Soar (blue), Derwent (red) and Trent (yellow).

. Ivor



The original and real cat with the swishy tail.
Accept no imitations.

Were these boarding schools or something?

No, mine wasn't. I biked to and from school, every day. Actually, I didn't bike to school in the morning. I used to walk in with a girl that I had a crush on. Well, it was better than getting to school early!

. Ivor



The original and real cat with the swishy tail.
Accept no imitations.

Lady Penelope Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think Conion was trying to break it to us gently
> that he went to Public School. Err, thats a
> private school to anyone except Brits because
> ........help someone else explain it!
>
> Anywhere near Windsor, Con?
A long way away, geographically and ethos-wise(?). Just an ordinary grammar school funded by the state with free bus travel because I'd carefully selected a school more than three miles from home.

A public school is so-called because any member of the public could pay to go there as opposed to a school like a church school that was restricted or a charity school (vide Blue Coats) or a parish school which usually gave a limited education. Now there are a multitude of schools, but practically all are dependant on money from the taxpayer as distributed by government largesse: these are generally restrictive in their intake unlike Public schools which will take anyone from anywhere who is willing to pay or can get a bursary.

Interestingly, my house colours were red also.

That's confusing! Here we have public shcools (paid for by taxes and open to the public), private schools (paid for privately and open to anyone who can pay) and parochial schools (paid for privately and/or by the church and usually open to parishioners or anyone of the faith) easy-peasy.

Janaru Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Houses? That doesn't sound like the Orkneys. To a
> Yank it sounds like Hogwarts!

Ha! How changed is the impression when viewed from different angles of a prism! In the Orkneys one might imagine a school with very few pupils, not many more than 11 perhaps ... that was the drift of my remark. To me there isn't a Public School angle, not that it's a life or death issue.


A commitment to Mod'nAdminlyness: I understand that ^{r-e-s-i-s-t-a-n-c-e} _{*i - s*} ^f-u-t-i-l-e.
I shall not be starchy, nit pic, patronize, commit misandry, be economical with the facts or be a pedant, neither shall I whine. I shall endeavour to abstain from gratuitous point-scoring off the comments of other Mods or Administrators and also from engendering a culture of BLAME, remembering too to give the benefit of the doubt. Everything in my power will be done to achieve a modest post count & share my smileys, sources & avatars,

Heavens to betsy... all this talk about schools has just made me think about when I stabbed myself (accidentally) with a compass in my leg when I was at one of those establishments... I wonder if kids even get to use compasses these days... they certainly can be quite dangerous in the wrong hands... lol... perhaps those who go to school now use spirograph or some such contraption to produce circles and investigate the related mathematics around good old pi... ahhh the good old days...

PS: It's gonna take me weeks to catch up on all the ramblings on this messageboard.... lol.... (keep it up gang)...

I think they now use a Power Point presentation to illustrate the wonders of Pi.

Quote
I stabbed myself (accidentally) with a compass in my leg

When you wake up in the morning, is your head pointing north?

. Ivor



The original and real cat with the swishy tail.
Accept no imitations.

Like this you mean Pete :






A commitment to Mod'nAdminlyness: I understand that ^{r-e-s-i-s-t-a-n-c-e} _{*i - s*} ^f-u-t-i-l-e.
I shall not be starchy, nit pic, patronize, commit misandry, be economical with the facts or be a pedant, neither shall I whine. I shall endeavour to abstain from gratuitous point-scoring off the comments of other Mods or Administrators and also from engendering a culture of BLAME, remembering too to give the benefit of the doubt. Everything in my power will be done to achieve a modest post count & share my smileys, sources & avatars,

urmmm.... yes... and there was no film noire effects going on in the background... just pain I'm afraid... hey ho... scarred for life... lol...

PS that's a brill clip... and yes when I wake up IT my compass is always pointing north, I'm not sure about my head... lol... (nice to see you are in full swing matey)

Does this go on for long periods? I mean, is it protracted?


. Ivor



The original and real cat with the swishy tail.
Accept no imitations.

Found these today...some old....some new....some funny

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus..
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . ..having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money..
At age 70 success is . .. . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . ... . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

So I made the grade it seems!


A commitment to Mod'nAdminlyness: I understand that ^{r-e-s-i-s-t-a-n-c-e} _{*i - s*} ^f-u-t-i-l-e.
I shall not be starchy, nit pic, patronize, commit misandry, be economical with the facts or be a pedant, neither shall I whine. I shall endeavour to abstain from gratuitous point-scoring off the comments of other Mods or Administrators and also from engendering a culture of BLAME, remembering too to give the benefit of the doubt. Everything in my power will be done to achieve a modest post count & share my smileys, sources & avatars,

Quote

When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

And then I forget it. So I have to get up and fall down all over again to get back to where I was...

And I tried to put the kettle back in the fridge not so long ago....

Cheers, K

The other day, while preparing my breakfast, I clicked my sweeteners into the empty cereal bowl instead of the coffee mug. That's why I get the coffee ready before the bran flakes.

. Ivor



The original and real cat with the swishy tail.
Accept no imitations.

etc. etc. etc.

... aaand ... to coin a phrase ... so it goes!


A commitment to Mod'nAdminlyness: I understand that ^{r-e-s-i-s-t-a-n-c-e} _{*i - s*} ^f-u-t-i-l-e.
I shall not be starchy, nit pic, patronize, commit misandry, be economical with the facts or be a pedant, neither shall I whine. I shall endeavour to abstain from gratuitous point-scoring off the comments of other Mods or Administrators and also from engendering a culture of BLAME, remembering too to give the benefit of the doubt. Everything in my power will be done to achieve a modest post count & share my smileys, sources & avatars,



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2003 Aug 24 2010 by Truthyness.

I went to the zoo, the other day. There was only one dog in it.



It was a Shihtzu!

. Ivor



The original and real cat with the swishy tail.
Accept no imitations.

... and then there was the dyslexic bloke who walked into a bra.

. Ivor



The original and real cat with the swishy tail.
Accept no imitations.

I heard that one as two blondes.

What? Two blondes in a zoo?

. Ivor



The original and real cat with the swishy tail.
Accept no imitations.

Nut.

A friend sent me this email. I thought that you'd all like it.


Subject: I Love this Doctor




Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually..
Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.
Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain... good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HARRROOOW!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND...

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

. Ivor



The original and real cat with the swishy tail.
Accept no imitations.

Kronalias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> And I tried to put the kettle back in the fridge
> not so long ago....
>
Putting it back into the fridge isn't the problem - having it in there in the first place is.

Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, Ive!

For years I have started the day with a nice healthy cup of strong coffee. The other day it tasted strange, and I realised that while my mind. tummy and taste buds were anticipating coffee, my hands had apparently made a unilateral decision-and a pot of tea!

I know that it is an un-English thing, but I don't like tea; I've been a coffee person for years. The week before last, when I was in hospital, I asked for a 'white coffee - two sweeteners'. When it came, it certainly didn't taste like coffee, so I explained that I had asked for a coffee. As there was no argument, I assume that I was right. However, a couple of times since I came home, my coffee has tasted strange.

Many years ago, after a night out and a beer or three, Mum brought me a cuppa in bed - Ah, those were the days! I had a sip and said, "I'm sorry, Mum, I must have had too much to drink. I can't tell whether this is tea or coffee." At this point, she admitted that she had put the instant coffee and sugar in my cup, but having poured out the tea for Dad and her, she inadvertently continued to pour out tea. She thought that I might not notice! Mothers, don't you love them.

. Ivor



The original and real cat with the swishy tail.
Accept no imitations.

The Princess and the Pea ... Ivor!















Gawd that 5rd word was pretty irresponsible in view of the message recipient , still with his ready wit, to steer the safe route to decency I reckon we'd need to do w/out half the English language!


A commitment to Mod'nAdminlyness: I understand that ^{r-e-s-i-s-t-a-n-c-e} _{*i - s*} ^f-u-t-i-l-e.
I shall not be starchy, nit pic, patronize, commit misandry, be economical with the facts or be a pedant, neither shall I whine. I shall endeavour to abstain from gratuitous point-scoring off the comments of other Mods or Administrators and also from engendering a culture of BLAME, remembering too to give the benefit of the doubt. Everything in my power will be done to achieve a modest post count & share my smileys, sources & avatars,